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Vampire Diaries: Rob's Faux-Memoirs

Inspired by RPattz's potential new role in Memoirs, 4tnz has taken a stab at writing Rob's faux-memoirs:
May 20, 1986: I was born. With a full head of hair. The doctor slapped me because he was jealous of how handsome I was already.

August 8, 1998
: My sisters dressed me up like a girl again. And people hit on me more than they did my sisters.

June 2005: Went to the Harry Potter premiere. People rooting for me to beat Harry in the TriWizard tournament. Not the way it was supposed to happen.

February 2008: Ate my first Hot Pocket. OME.

November 2008
: And my life will never be the same again... hello, ladies?
Read the article here.